The Value of Summer Breezes for Life/Work Balance

After we in higher education engage in one, or numerous Commencement ceremonies, and feel a sense of satisfaction that we continue to guide the development of our nation’s intellectual capital, many of our thoughts drift to a summer season of different projects and/or vacations.

As many others in the workforce have experienced, I would surmise, some of the most peaceful and restorative memories of the summer include strolling on the beach enjoying ocean breezes blowing through your hair, being soothed by the relaxing sound of the waves hitting the shore on a beautiful, blue sky day, and/or enjoying the natural beauty of wooded areas—without cellular connections.  After about a week or so of listening to the waves, enjoying the peace of morning kayaking, or moving about without meetings and schedules, if we are lucky, a sense of renewed vitality and creativity emanates throughout our bodies.

Yet, for some reason, many Americans find reasons not to take their vacation days.  Possibly, these workers feel that staying on the job and forgoing vacation days will keep them from falling behind, or possibly that staying physically at the job is a demonstration of loyalty, and therefore, a more direct line to success.  Thus, it does not surprise me that several sources report that Americans take fewer vacation days than Europeans—leaving paid remuneration on the table or lost altogether.  It is hard to imagine that with the increasingly persistent emails, text messages, conference calls, webinars, and videoconferencing (not to mention social media), that the need to disconnect from the work world has not become acknowledged as critical.  Work worlds, moreover, are microcosms that are intricately linked to family worlds, political contexts, stock market performances, and global communities.

So, what is so special about going on vacation?  Well for one thing, some of my psychologists colleagues have convinced me that the 24/7 work worlds that many of us live in produce negative effects on our bodies on both psychological and chemical levels. We need to periodically decompress and allow ourselves to experience some measure of peace without feeling guilty for using vacation days that are usually portrayed as benefits.  It does not take an astute observer to note that there is life beyond work, and that a healthy life/work balance is essential to a productive workforce.

Conversations with colleagues over the years, and observations of colleagues, suggest that there is more than a modicum of chronic stress in our work lives that, if gone unchecked, will take unpleasant tolls on the body’s ability to resist infection, to maintain high energy levels, and to remain healthy enough to perform work at levels that contribute to productivity, innovation, and a desirable work environment.

There have been too many conversations with work colleagues about elevated blood pressure, acid reflux, inability to sleep through the night, memory issues, and a plethora of prescription medications needed to continue to work.  Possibly, middle-aged employees experience these symptoms more than Millennial workers, but it is probably just a matter of matter of time—unless  the work environment changes to encompass a more holistic view of the lives and needs of its human intellectual capital.  Possibly, Millennials can help furnish some leadership in developing a work environment that is both supportive, challenging, and productive.

Until then, we might want to reconsider the value of vacation days!

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. (2010), The Importance of Vacations to our Physical and Mental Health, Psychology Today,  (retrieved May 21, 2017).

Natalie Burg (2014), Forbes, Do The Europeans Have it Right?  Do we Need More Time Off to be On at Work? (retrieved May 21, 2017).

Magical Moments—Capturing the Spirit of the Season

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For some Americans and our global neighbors, the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day helps us to rekindle memories of magical moments involving family and friends, or to work hard to create those special moments for our loved ones. Possibly, the magic involves the almost indescribable joy of remembering times when our wishes were granted, or when we granted wishes for others.

Some of my treasured memories include holding a parent’s hand, as we gazed with awe at the elaborate holiday window displays in Marshall Field’s, Carson’s, and Sears stores in downtown Chicago where animated storybook characters came alive and created sparkling fantasies before our eyes. Each year, our family looked forward to strolling down State Street to be delighted by the beauty and artistry of it all.

For others, those memories might include traveling in the family car to a Christmas tree farm in the country to carefully select that special tree for the family, lacing up skates for the first time to glide across the ice at Rockefeller Center or in your town’s rink, caroling while navigating through traffic to visit family and friends, having lunch around a giant Christmas tree while admiring how the miniature lights glow, or carefully arranging old and new ornaments on the family tree.

Each year, perhaps some part of our consciousness journeys back to special times, like when we first watched the enormous, decorated balsam trees with shiny red, blue, and gold ornaments. The holiday season, I suspect, rekindles the memories of magical moments we work to recapture or recreate each year. Possibly, this is why we look forward to the season—another chance to be lighthearted, to create some magic, or to let others know how thankful we are that they are sharing a part of our lives.

Yet, each holiday season, many of us also experience bittersweet memories of those who are no longer with us—reminding us how fragile it all is. If we are fortunate, we relive special moments with lost loved ones by recalling memories or retelling, once more, the stories of special times we shared. Even as adults, some of us still cherish the efforts of our parents and relatives to fulfill our wishes for bikes, skates, train sets, computers, musical instruments, video games, and toys (we now barely remember) under the tree. As we grow from child, to teenager, to parent, and grandparent, our roles might change, and the holidays might become more diffused, but we probably still hope for the magic of wishes fulfilled.

Nowadays, with online ordering available for just about everything, the season appears to require less frenetic running about. Yet, we still devote considerable time shopping for gifts, preparing holiday dinners, and traveling home to visit relatives. Why do we engage in all of this activity? I suspect that there is a spirit or feeling of the holidays that we are seeking to rekindle—the warmth, love, wonder, and magical moments we share/shared with parents, siblings, relatives and friends. At its core, it could be argued that despite its commercialization, the holiday season is still about rekindling innocence, the hope for wishes fulfilled, and granting the heart’s desires of others.

So, here’s to wishing that the Holiday Season brings some profound magic to our lives, helps us get through the tough times, and reminds us that we can create real magic by sharing our lives, and hearts, with others every day throughout the year.

Civility, Tolerance, and Building a More Perfect Union Begin in Family Worlds

clipart-american-flag-3-2Reflecting on what just happened, like many other Americans, and some of our global neighbors, there is a lingering anguish that we have passed through some membrane of civility and tolerance on a macro-level.   Even though some historians remind us that vitriolic, political campaigns and muckraking are not new, somehow that does not make anything better.

However, the streaming barrage of media messages and social media dialogues possibly could have reached a new, almost fevered pitch. Some colleagues also caution that the negativity and lack of tolerance in the last presidential campaign could have long, sustaining effects on our collective psyches and American ideal of working towards building a more perfect union.

Thus, reflecting on “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America” might require some actions in our family worlds. Preamble, Constitution of the United States of America

At its core, it can be argued that America is a nation of families and communities based on family worlds laden with intrinsic values and preconceived notions about the good life. So, possibly, it is time to look inward, and reaffirm, that our family worlds are the building blocks of communities and, depending on the family worlds, the more perfect Union of America strengthens or weakens.

Arguably, family worlds evolve within the larger context of streaming consumerism, political affiliations, dueling ideologies, religious beliefs, and assumptions about what is, and how to obtain, the good life. However, it is in the family worlds that adults model behavior for children. It is also in family worlds that discussions about diversity, tolerance, values, and the individual’s responsibility as an American and global citizen are wrought. Family worlds also help developing adults balance consumerism with seeking a sense of purpose in life that is rewarding beyond consumerism, selfies, and collections of stuff.

Another opportunity for extending the building blocks of family worlds are the workplace worlds. Many adults spend a great deal of their time in workplaces. Over the last couple of months, I have counseled several colleagues experiencing microaggressions and tolerance issues in their workplaces. Unfortunately, stress and workforce/life style conflicts are noticeable in too many of our professional lives.  It is hard to imagine that millions of building blocks fraught with intolerance and lack of knowledge can build a more perfect union.

It would seem that in order to build a more perfect Union, the building blocks of America known as family worlds and workplace worlds need our attention. In the workplace, possibly we can measure the economic value of workplace civility, and employ analytics to determine factors that contribute to productivity and increased individual and team satisfaction.

Maybe, there is an App for developing family worlds and workplace worlds that are building blocks for a more perfect union that can be half as popular as Pokemon Go!

The Value of Positive Civil Discourse in Making a More Perfect Union

Recently, I have been thinking about the nature, and value of, positive civil discourse while equally pondering the benefits of positive, nonviolent, civil disobedience. In our global village, we notice that few individuals and groups (of the billions of citizens on the planet), are choosing to express discontent and dissonance with political and governmental policies by engaging in violent demonstrations that often result in lost lives.

Even though opposing expressions to political ideologies and policies unnamedare not new, possibly, it is time to review and re-educate ourselves, and others, on the value of civil discourse, broadening our understandings,  and nonviolent civil disobedience that can also result in positive social change without the loss of human lives.

As long as there have been individuals and groups, there have also been disagreements-and sometimes violence to resolve those disagreements.  Some would argue, as societies continue to evolve technologically, it is equally important to help individuals and communities to develop their capacities for civil discourse, by recommending positive social actions that increase civil engagement, improve emotional intelligence, enhance the quality of life, and augment our understanding of global interdependence.

Many of us remember studying American transcendentalist Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) and reading his 1849 thesis Civil Disobedience in which he contemplated the nature of civil disobedience–highlighting, in his opinion, the right of the individual to resist government action or policies that were blatantly against an individual’s moral values or conscience.  Thoreau’s notion, and practice of, positive civil disobedience eventually resulted in his being arrested for not paying a poll tax.  Thoreau resisted the tax because  it conflicted with his conscience.  He believed that the funds generated from the tax would be used to finance the Mexican War, a campaign which he vehemently opposed.  Thoreau, further, saw the war as a means to expand slave territories in the United States, and he considered such an immoral undertaking.

unnamed-1From Thoreau’s thesis it appears that he is not arguing for no government, but that he is imagining a “State at least which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it…” Even though it was penned over 100 years ago, Thoreau’s thesis reflects conflicts we continue to struggle with today.  He states further, “It is truly enough said that a corporation has no conscience; but a corporation of conscientious men is a corporation with a conscience.”

Without a doubt, America, and our global communities, have certainly changed a great deal since Thoreau’s thesis.  According to historians of civil disobedience, there have been many more examples of civil disobedience in which people, or movements, have changed policies and improved living conditions for communities, by employing varying degrees of civil disobedience to effect positive social outcomes.

Although they are too numerous to name, some prominent civil disobedience involved Mohandas “Mahatma” Gandhi (1869-1948), for his role in leading India to independence; Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968), for his role in leading the nation’s peaceful Civil Rights Movement until his assassination; Cesar Chavez (1927-1993) for his role in organizing a labor union to protect the rights of workers; Nelson Mandela (1918-2013) for his role in protesting apartheid which, after his imprisonment of nearly 30 years, eventually led to world recognition, a Nobel Peace Prize, and anti-apartheid improvements; and many more individuals–known and unknown–who have led and continue to inspire non-violent civil disobedience.NOT_hate_Fotor

So, what does this tell us as leaders of organizations, communities, and families?  Some might argue that it is our responsibility to ensure that students, and developing adults, are exposed to stories of non-violent civil disobedience–hopefully to counterbalance the other reports of more violent ways to resolve conflicts that are broadcasted via various news and entertainment media.

As managers of businesses and observers of interpersonal interactions, there are daily opportunities for us to model civil engagement, civil discourse, and decision-making that demonstrates the value of engagement of a broad range of individuals and appreciation of more diverse perspectives. As leaders, we can not only listen to diverse opinions and solutions with respect and understanding, but we can also help others recognize the value of diverse viewpoints.

Ultimately, the family is probably the first place to form meaningful viewpoints about the individual’s responsibilities in society. Possibly Jackson-2_Fotorconversations that occur in family worlds should also encompass strategies for supporting and expressing disagreement in civil and non-violent ways.  Because the family is the basic building block of society, when families actively promote listening, tolerance, civil discourse, and awareness of other cultures, they offer a strong foundation for productive civil discourse and nonviolent positive social action in our larger global communities.

As leaders–be it in our families, our workplaces, our communities, our nation, or anywhere on our Earth–it is our critical responsibility to help each other work towards truly forming a more perfect union, the intention stated in the Preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America.

Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, thesis, 1849

Special thanks to Geri R. Vital, MA

Legacies of Courage and Love from the Silent Generation

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Joined by Trayvon’s family, (from left) Jahvaris Fulton,
Sybrina Fulton and Tracy Martin, the legendary
Harry Belafonte is honored at Trayvon Martin’s
21st Birthday Celebration Banquet in Miami.
(Photo courtesy of Geri R. Vital, ©2016)

Recently, my husband and I had the pleasure of hearing Harry Belafonte, Jr. (who will soon celebrate his 90th birthday) enthrall an audience at the Trayvon Martin Foundation’s Fourth Annual remembrance dinner in Miami, Florida, sponsored by Florida Memorial University and other stakeholders. The Trayvon Martin Foundation is located on the campus of Florida Memorial University.

Even though Mr. Belafonte informed the audience that he had recently experienced a stroke and that he was on medication that affected his memory, his nearly 30 minute, extemporaneous speech was still a phenomenal gift to us. Looking around the ballroom, I noted that the audience was lifted a bit higher by his audacious courage, by how he promoted social equity throughout his life with his talents, his inspiring work, and by his still ardent call for us to commit to positive social action, as our daily guide.

Mr. Belafonte, and many of those he interacted with (such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, the Reverend Jessie Jackson and many others) are/were members of what is sometimes called the Silent Generation. When you look at the altruistic accomplishments, the courage, and the legacy of some members of this generation, they were anything but silent—they spoke eloquently through their deeds and built foundations for a stronger America.

However, each year we lose more of these trailblazers and, thus, we look to our college students and younger adults with hope that they will step forth and carry a torch of audacious hope to broaden and deepen our human connectivity through intellectual discourse and positive social action.

My husband and I feel fortunate to have been able to interact with some of the special humans in the Silent Generation such as the incomparable Dr. Maya Angelou, Pulitzer Prize poet Gwendolyn Brooks, humanitarian Harriet Fulbright, historian Dr. John Hope Franklin, activist and academic Angela Davis, Mayor Harold Washington, the Honorable Andrew Young, heroic Tuskegee Airmen, priest-activist Father George Clements, heavyweight champion and philanthropist Muhammad Ali, and many more inventors and innovators, teachers and scholars, scientists and statesmen.

Admittedly, many of members of the aforementioned and others in the Silent Generation lived controversial lives and colored outside of the lines. As time has demonstrated, these lines are temporary boundaries that continue to change with time, through intellectual realizations and the transcendence of the human spirit. And, of course, the Silent Generation Americans were only humans!

We have marveled that lives of courage, sacrifice, and concern for others seems to have transformed these mere humans into legends. Even as they are undoubtedly contemplating the conclusions of their earthly existences, these legends of the Silent Generation seem to stand tall, despite advanced age, and vigorously employ their lives’ wisdom to heighten awareness for today’s youth in order to inspire actions that will result in an even better America and more peaceful coexistence in our global community. They have shown us the power of lives lived with altruistic purposes, and now these stalwarts are demonstrating how to bow out with dignity and grace.

Listening to their life stories–replete with challenges, missteps, and victories–and seeing a world continuing to transform through their perspectives is a special gift to be held close to the heart and deeply treasured. Though these remarkable people who have illustrated the great potential of human lives might be a bit weathered by their journeys,  their actions still serve as a clarion call for us to shake off our complacency, focus a little less on consuming, look up from our hand-held devices, and take more active roles in advancing the progress towards broader social justice, greater fairness, and respect for all lives among our global neighbors.

Holding these treasures, and the inspiring life stories of many others, close to our hearts—We thank you!

Thanksgiving is a time to pause and realize we can improve our collective lives

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Usually it is very easy to compose a Thanksgiving season blog.  This year, however, there have been many global disturbances in which humans have hurt other humans.  Further, the rhetoric of too many political candidates has left many of us wondering about the general assumptions some political organizations seem to believe about the intelligence of American voters.

Unfazed by the human tragedies and the political circus seem to be the Black Friday marketers–consumerism must go on, and this year it needs to be bigger than last year. So, cut your Thanksgiving family time short to save $ on something you probably do not really need anyway.

A quote from Charles Dickens 1859 novel depicting the climate prior to the French Revolution seems apropos:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

When considering our current situations in the world with its gaps of wealth, education, understanding, and alternate versions of history, it could be easy to succumb to melancholy and to lack faith that there will be a heightening of humanity and more evenness of global, human well-being.  Maybe this melancholy is the reason why some humans inflict pain on others .  As I was once told, “hurt people–hurt people.”

Yet, when considering the extensive list of things gone awry, it is the stories of hundreds of selfless individuals, and their mostly unheralded acts of courage, altruism, philanthropy, and love that fuel the optimism shared in some of our family worlds, our communities, and generally in America.

So, this Thanksgiving, I will wish the retail industry well, look into the faces of friends and relatives with hope and optimism, laugh at the stories of our past follies, and I will try not to gain too much weight from the Thanksgiving dinner, its leftovers, and the month long holiday season.

Because most of all, Thanksgiving is a time to affirm that we can improve our collective futures with genuine acts of kindness and awareness of our global connectivity.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

Love Quest–Happy Valentine’s Day!

Featured imageAs I walk through numerous commercial venues, it is hard to look pass the red velvet Valentine’s hearts, heart-shaped balloons, and, of course the chocolates in heart-shaped boxes that are readily available to help us share our feelings and demonstrate that we love others. Yet, my first instinct is to express something akin to chagrin about the limited nature of love these red mementos seem to represent.

Love appears to be one of the most complex human states of being or demonstration of emotional connection that most humans proclaim to seek and treasure. In some way, we are all on a love quest. Fortunately or unfortunately, many of us encounter our first glimpses of love in our family worlds from our parents and family members, enhanced by books, and other social media. We tend to conceptualize love from watching others demonstrate love.

Unfortunately, it is rarely easy to discern the depth and commitment of the love we think we see without sustained observations, authentic conversations, and soul-searching. Commercialized expressions of the emotion often furnish little help for us, as we explore love. If we are lucky, we begin to understand that love transforms our views of ourselves and, ultimately, of the world.

For some of us, we observe parents who show their love for us by sacrificing for their families, working long hours, providing adequate food and shelter, and rejoicing in each of our victories–as we transform into more complicated human beings. There are also opportunities to observe how others love their significant others from various viewpoints in our career progressions.

As we continue to develop as humans, our concept of love usually also broadens, and we discover a capacity to empathize with, or extend something often referred to as brotherly love to, friends, neighbors, and even persons we do not know well. Oftentimes, we will give of ourselves to these people by offering the gift of our time, money, intellect, talents, guidance, and/or best wishes.

Then, as we mature, and if we are lucky, we broaden our capacity to a notion of care, concern, or possibly love for those less fortunate than ourselves in America and in other countries. We care about the environments in which others live-their abilities to live purposeful lives, to drink clean water, to live without crippling diseases, and to raise healthy children of their own.

And, possibly, as we watch our children and grandchildren grow, and as we guide them and shape their capacities to evolve into loving and caring world citizens themselves who will contribute intellect, compassion, and visions for sustainable environments, we will also be extending our expressions of love even farther ahead to future unborn generations.

The love quest–possibly there is nothing like it on our  planet.

Happy Valentine’s Day!